FORGIVENESS

Forgiveness is one of the hardest things God asks of us – especially when the pain runs deep.

When someone has wounded you, betrayed you, or taken something that can never be returned… forgiveness doesn’t feel natural. It feels impossible.

But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt on this journey, it’s this: Forgiveness is not a feeling. It’s a choice. And it’s not about them m—it is about your freedom. 

Before anything else, it’s important to know what forgiveness does not mean.

It doesn’t mean pretending it didn’t happen. Forgiveness isn’t denial. Your pain is real. Your story matters. God never asks you to minimise what hurt you.

It doesn’t mean trusting the person again. You can forgive someone and still set boundaries. Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing.

It doesn’t mean justice is erased. Forgiveness does not remove consequences. It simply releases you from the prison of bitterness.

Forgiveness is saying:

“I’m choosing to release this hurt to God. I’m no longer going to carry the weight of what you did to me. I trust God to handle what I can’t. And I refuse to let your actions keep poisoning my heart.”

It’s not easy. Sometimes you have to choose forgiveness over and over again, until it begins to soften the jagged places inside you. But every time you do, it’s a step toward healing.

Some wounds go deeper than others.

Some betrayals feel unforgivable—especially those that happened when you were too young to protect yourself, or when you trusted someone who should have been safe.

I’ve carried those kinds of wounds. I’ve cried out to God,

“How do I forgive something that shattered me?”

And here’s what I’ve come to understand:

You don’t forgive because they deserve it. You forgive because you deserve peace.

You forgive so that trauma doesn’t own the rest of your life.

You forgive because Jesus offers to carry what you no longer can.

You forgive because bitterness is a chain—and Christ came to break chains.

Jesus is not asking you to forgive from your own strength. He knows how hard it is. He forgave from a cross—while the wounds were still fresh, and the mockery still echoing in His ears.

He knows betrayal. He knows abuse. He knows deep injustice.

So when He asks you to forgive, He’s not doing it from a place of distance—He is offering to help you do it, hand in hand with Him.

“Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” — Luke 23:34

And sometimes, it’s not even about what they didn’t know—it's about what they did, fully aware.

And still, Jesus says, “Let Me help you release them, so they no longer own part of your soul.”

When you decide to forgive:

You begin to heal.

You stop carrying their actions like a burden on your back.

You start reclaiming your identity from their hands and putting it back into God’s.

Forgiveness doesn’t erase your past. It just keeps your past from owning your future.

And in the end… forgiveness is not a moment—it’s a process.

Some days, you’ll feel peace. Other days, the pain may return. But every time you choose to hand that pain to Jesus again, you are winning a battle. You are taking your power back.

And most importantly… you are stepping into the healing and freedom God wants for you.

You forgive—not because they earned it. But because Jesus set you free, and you’re choosing not to live chained anymore.